The News Report

Me, Princess Pignatelli yand Regina Patel were pouring sulfuric acid into Joann-Kim's humidifier, when all of the sudden, we heard guns being shooted. We ran outside and saw people shooting bullets at other people. We went up to the people that were shooting the guns and asked if we could have some guns. We then joined them and began shooting too. Then Regina Patel heard the police coming so we shot the people that gave us the guns and ran away. We then lit the lane on fire and drove away in our grey Honda Accord. We then stopped at a Price Chopper. We bought a ton of sponges. The checkout woman was Joann-Kim. I screamed at her to give us our receipt and she then told us that eating sponges is good for your digestive system. We then left Price Chopper. While we were driving we saw the police coming out of a cornfield with the missing child of the corn. It was my snowman that had a seizure in my Fireplace. After that disappointment, Regina Patel and me went to see the Clinton Courts play the Angelicas. The Clinton Courts won. We then slept at a multi-million dollar a night hotel that was very skeavy. It had no rats running around and there was people that brought us free food. While we were making a run into the bathroom we saw Amy Winehouse. She must have gotten out of rehab, but it looked like she would be back in a witch-second. That night the weather was horrible. There was no wind, no thunder, no rain, no lightning. It was a total disappointment. The next morning we stole all the money from the hotel's vault, and we drove away. We saw Britanelli Spears dancing to her song Piece off Me. We drove to the Clinton Court Museum and I threw my 12" high heels into all of the exhibits. We got throwed out and the museum got shut down. We then drove to C. Scaramanga's house. We didn't bother knocking on the door because we secretly hated her. When we walked in we found C. Scaramanga eating water, and Laurie Berkner was about to hang herself. We then went upstairs and Regina Patel hacked into the stocks and deleted all of the except for Botox. Britney Dagger did it again with her newest single From the Bottom of the Ironing Basket. We then left C. Scaramanga's house. After driving for .75 miles we stopped in the middle of an intersection. All of the cars smashed into it and then we got out and licked allof our blood off. After that we drove to an airport and I, being Princess Pignatelli, punched the baggage check lady until she gave us the pilots password to his cabin. We went on the plane that would take us to Washington D.C. and we broke into the pilot's cabin. After the everyone had boarded, the pilot then got on. Regina Patel put on another pair of 12" high heels and kicked the pilot out a window. We took off and once we were in the air we started an emergency landing, even though there was none. We landed in a river. We locked the doors so no one could get out. We abandoned the plane and walked to the White House. The presidential election was about to happen. Then John McCain fossilized and L'Bamba and Volgare won the Nobel Peace Prize. The winner was Hillary Clinton Court. We walked back to the plane, with everyone still inside and then we took off and landed in Time Square. We walked over to see Meredith Viera win an MTV award for best choreography for her new video called Break the Ice. She filmed her video Break the Ice when she smashed her head on the ice. We then went to the McDonald's salt lick in Mechanicville, NY. We brought a ton of rats to it and let them all eat the salt. The rats then died and we left. We went to Cracker Barrel where Princess Pignatelli, me, threw Cracker Barrel wrappers all over the lawn. We then brought some one out and showed the wrappers to them and they called the police. Regina Patel ran away so only me, Princess Pignatelli, was arrested. In prison that night, Regina Patel threw I, Princess Pignatelli, me, a computer. Me went on to Google Trends and saw that beige was a world wide fashion according to my website. Also Hello Kitty prom dresses and Cat Shoes are in style. The weather then turned wonderful. The whole entire prison collapsed because of the 1,000,000 mph winds. The rain started to flood the grounds so I swam away on my inflatable swan that I always keep in my teeth. As I was floating away on my inflatable swan that I always keep in my teeth, lightning stuck me and the inflatable swan that I always keep in my teeth. The inflatable swan that I always keep in my teeth popped and I peed because of how much it tickled. I got in the car with Regina Patel and we drove away. We turned on the radio and heard that Deal or No Deal had been canceled and we also heard that cleaning products including vacuum cleanerswhich emit a lethal odor, sponges that have lead in them, etc. After I heard this, I then slammed Regina Patel's head through the windshield and we drove into the Hudson River. We saw a ton of vacuum cleaners and sponges down there. I bashed Regina Patel's head with them. The we saw Joann-Kim swimming in the Hudson River Tweeting how disgusting the Hudson River is.

This has been a helpful tip from Princess Pignatelli.