A

A is for Arsen.

This has been a helpful tip from Princess Pignatelli.

26 Days of the Alphabet

I am going to do 26 days of the alphabet starting tomorrow.

This has been a helpful tip from Princess Pignatelli.

Christmas Tree O' Vicious Bunny

Today when I was decorating for Christmas and Easter, with Regina Patel. I was bringing down my non-artificial Christmas tree from last year, it got caught in a chandelier causing the tree to spark and ignite. I was running through my house with the on fire Christmas tree and I threw it onto my stove. So I went back up into my attic and found the vicious bunny so I put it in my Grandfather Clock and it ate all of my Megan Fox CD's (I love her new song "Pillow"). So I went back up into The Attic and put on my half Santa Claus half Easter Bunny clothes (it's not a costume) and went back downstairs into the Kitchen and saw that the bunny was now eating the Christmas tree. Then it threw up my Megan Fox Compact Discs. So I scarfed down the rabbit food I was baking. Then the power in the House went out. And I saw that the bunny was chewing threw the Christmas lights that I had lined my floor with. Then all of the sudden all the lights in the House started flashing on and off so fast that the Snowman, that I keep in the Fireplace, had a seizure. Then harry potter's head exploded. Then the bunny chewed a hole in the TV and all the radiation in the TV came out (the radiation didn't kill us because we're so used to it). Regina Patel was walking around in my 12" high heels so I threw the Christmas tree at her. So then Regina Patel and me went up on the Roof, only to find The Orpah Winfile, and she tried to convince me to go on the Green Tea Diet, but I said no, I am on the McDonald's Diet. I have been cooking and entertaining for years. The traditional way my grandmother taught me. But it is a lot of work to do this. So I have created simple and helpful ways for you to create the perfect life.

This has been a helpful tip from Princess Pignatelli.

The Conspiracy

This is the conspiracy. Blinds-To-Go is going to take over the world. When you buy their blinds and then touch them, the binds have been dipped in caramel. Caramel is super sticky so before it dries, they paint it with formaldehyde, the same formaldehyde the use to preserve dead chipmunks. That is what they do to only some of the blinds. They do much worse stuff to the others. Does y'all remember when Rooms-To-Go went into the business, well Blinds-To-Go owned that business. They but poison in the beds so when you slept on the you would get poisoned and die. Blinds-To-Go got caught and had to close Rooms-To-Go, but everyone was so stupid that they didn't expects that the blinds, from Blinds-To-Go, had poisonous stuff on them.

This has been a helpful tip from Princess Pignatelli.

Insomniac

This is my experience on the plane. I was asking this random woman that I called "mom" how to spell insomniac. This other guy said, "I-n-s." But I rudely ignored him and continued screaming at this woman. The guy again said, "I-n-s." So I continued to scream, mom! I finally acknowledged him, when I tripped and punctured him with my 12" high heel. (The same pair that I broke a step with in The Urine House.) Then I went to go press the button to call a stewardess, but I by accidentally pressed the button that releases the oxygen masks. One kid ingested the oxygen mask, so I sat down in my seat and pretended to be my pet baboon that screams 24/7. I screamed so loud that I broke the window. The guy who I punctured got sucked out the window. So everyone started screaming and we had to make and emergency landing. I was the first person to go down the emergency slide and I punctured it with my 12" high heel. This is why they specifically tell you to not wear high heels on planes. Before the plane began to sink everyone had to be like the dramatic people on the safety instruction videos. Then the plane started to sink and everyone jumped into the water. The End.

This has been a helpful tip from Princess Pignatelli.